Better and Faster Decisions

The way to make better decisions about what to let go of and what to keep is to understand who you are in Jesus Christ, and to put possessions in their place.

In a healthy Christian's life, priorities are book-ended by the following:

1. Jesus first
2. Possessions last.

Reading your Bible, going to work to support yourself and your children or spouse (or ailing mother-in-law), raking your neighbor's yard, smiling at the toddler whining in the check-out line, praying, taking dinner to your friend who just lost her job, and going to church are a few actions that you take to show that Jesus is first in your life.

Spending every Saturday shopping at the mall, never donating your stacks of magazines to a charity, keeping your skinny clothes rather than taking them down to the battered women's shelter, buying your grandkids toys every month (or week), keeping every VHS and DVD you have ever purchased, and yelling at your kids when they accidentally break a drinking glass or dinner plate proves that possessions are your idol: "things" rather than God are first in your life.

When God is first in your life, you will be able to make fast decisions about what to keep: anything that you love and that supports your specific and current priorities in life is something to keep.

When you trust God as your Source for all things, you will be able to easily let go of the stack of extra blankets in your closet rather than hoard them for some unknown disaster.

When Jesus takes the center stage in your heart, there is no room for irrational attachments to "things." You won't waste your precious time determining a possible need in your future for the bread maker that has sat, unused, for four years in your kitchen.

However, when possessions are first in your life and heart, decluttering your home will take so much longer. You will consider the future usefulness and need of every item than crosses your path, and you will overthink how to dispose of each thing until you overwhelm and exhaust yourself.

Possessions, when held up as idols in your heart, will rob you of time for yourself, your family, your hobbies, your friends, and the people and causes that desperately need the gifts you bring to this world.

To make fast decisions on whether to keep or let go of something, ask yourself two questions:

1. "Will I die if I get rid of this thing?"
2. "Do I have faith enough in God and in myself--for I am made in His image--to be able to replace this object if I determine I need it later? (And if I can't replace it later, can I figure out a way to do without it, to improvise? For I am very creative, just as God the Father is Creative.)"

The more you think in this way, the quicker you will make decisions about your things, and the easier decluttering will become. Blessings on you today!

Hazards in Your Home

Yesterday, my 16 year old son and I spent almost two hours collecting and disposing of hazardous household waste, much of it contained in my ex-husband's two shops.

Every home contains some hazardous waste; it's dangerous to you, your family, your house guests, your neighbors, and your pets. Dejunking your life and home of these hazards is a great gift to the safety and well-being of the people and animals you love.

Here's what to do:

1. Call your city or county sanitation department to ask where you can drop off household hazardous waste. There should be no fee for dropping it off at a safe collection site.

2. Schedule a time in your planner that works for you.

3. Line the trunk of your car with a tarp or flattened (clean) trash bags.

4. Line cardboard boxes or plastic storage bins with contractor trash bags. These are ultra heavy, black plastic bags that you can find in most grocery stores and hardware stores. (None of the waste spilled, but I took this precaution anyway.)

5. Wearing safety goggles and heavy gloves, put your waste inside the lined boxes and bins, and carry to your car trunk. Leave any liquids in their original containers to help waste site personnel identify the contents. Most sites, however, accept mystery waste. Better it end up at a safe collection center than at the landfill and leaching into our drinking water.

6. Drive to the collection site, and unload the waste. Wear goggles and gloves. Note that some sites may not allow you to exit your vehicle, but will require collection site personnel to unload the waste from your vehicle themselves.

7. Breathe a huge sigh of relief when you have disposed of these dangerous substances responsibly.

Here's what we hauled away to the collection site:

• fluorescent light bulbs
• C batteries
• mercury from a broken thermostat (found rolling around in beads all over the counter in my ex's shop)
  
• LCD monitor from an old computer
• keyboard
• hard drives
• two obsolete computers
• broken mini-DVD player
• gallons of paint we found when we moved into this house
• dangerous weed-killers and fertilizers we found when we moved into this house (I only use child- and pet-safe fertilizers on my plants and yard.)
• mineral oil
  
• AC adapters
• ancient fuel tanks from blow torches
  
• two old fire extinguishers
• a variety of wood stains
  
• spray paint (too many cans to count)
• car wax (Who does this? Drive through a car wash and get the wax sprayed on your car. Save 52 hours a YEAR and your manicure.)
  
• anti-freeze (I have a great auto shop and they take care of all my car maintenance.)
• windshied wiper fluid (Ditto.)
• mystery goo in an empty coffee can (dark colored like used motor oil, smelled like gasoline)
• many varieties of heavy equipment lubricants
• roof tar from our previous home, which we left over eight years ago
• spray adhesive
• spray-on ceiling texture
  
• brass polish
  
• lighter fluid

We completely filled my mid-size sedan's trunk and back seat floor with all this. I feel grateful that there is a safe place to dispose of these useless-to-me and potentially dangerous items.

The hazardous waste collection site also accepts unused medications. Don't dump expired medications down the drain or flush the pills. It's safer for pets and aquatic life if you take them to the hazardous waste collection site.

Make plans to find and visit the site in your neighborhood before the holidays. It's a healthy way to declutter for safety's sake!

Thanksgiving Meal Preparation

Need help preparing for the feast? Here are a few tips to make this special day easier for the hostess.

1. Don't cook a whole turkey. There is ALWAYS too much bird, too many side dishes, and too many leftovers. Cook a turkey breast and drumstick in a slow cooker instead. Or why not cook a ham? Easy clean up, and NO chance of food poisoning from improperly cooked turkey stuffing.

2. Make it a pot luck. Most guests ask what they can bring. TAKE THEM UP ON THEIR OFFERS and suggest easy things: Rolls, cranberry sauce, veggie platter, a pie, whipped cream, and apple cider are easy contributions for guests to make, plus it takes pressure off you to remember those things on the big day. Also, if you have guests who are always "fashionably late," you won't have a ruined meal because of the missing mashed potatoes and gravy. You prepare the key staples, guests bring the extras.

3. Keep the dog outside. OUTSIDE, in a kennel, and tied up. It's only for a few hours.

4. Do not forget to give your ADHD son his meds the morning of the big day. Only mothers of ADHD kids fully grasp the significance and necessity of this reminder.

5. A folding table covered with a tablecloth is a perfectly fine way to accommodate guests. Do not buy an extra oak dining set just for this occasion. It will become clutter the day after. But a folding table is a necessary asset to any hostess. The table folds flat and slides into a closet or up against a garage wall or under a bed for storage. I have a long one that I can lift and set up myself, and I use it while sewing, scrapbooking, and for setting up a gingerbread men decorating station for my Christmas party each year.

6. Beware of unnecessary upgrading. I have fallen victim to this malady in the past, many times right before a large gathering: I prepare the house and take a final look around and start thinking, "It's not fancy enough, not festive enough, not impressive enough for the guests I've invited." So off I run to purchase another flower arrangement, or a new doormat, or seasonal hand towels for the powder room, or fancier dinner napkins. STOP. The desire to impress others can rob you of money, time, and peace of mind. Don't complicate the issue; complexity clutters your home, mind, and credit card with unnecessary spending.

7. Improvise. Much clutter arises from people making purchases for a one-time event, with the idea that they will use it for the next holiday. If you want 12 matching plates for your holiday dinner, and buy a set of turkey plates, they will look great and be used for exactly ONE meal this year, and take up lots of space the rest of the year. Why not use the white plates you already have and ask your kids to make turkey place cards instead? Or, rather than buy that tiered pie stand, why not CLEAR THE TABLE OF TURKEY AND THE REST OF THE DINNER FIRST, then set the pies right on the table? How often do you serve three pies at one time? Probably as often as you use turkey plates: for one meal a year. Improvisation stops clutter in its tracks.

8. You are not Martha Stewart. You do not have a staff of 12 to help you create the perfect Thanksgiving photo shoot. You do not have to wax the light fixture before your guests arrive or gold plate the bathroom fixtures. Focus on keeping the kitchen safely clean, food hot or cold as necessary, and loving your guests with warmth and thankfulness for their presence in your life.

Turkey Clutter

I love Thanksgiving: a holiday devoted solely to gratitude, family and friends, and eating. Makes for the perfect combination, in my book. It also makes for the perfect time to FREAK OUT about the state of your home if you are the hostess of this year's gathering.

Here are a few tips to help you cope with the pre-holiday cleaning frenzy. The next post will cover planning and preparing for the actual meal.

To begin cleaning up your home, start with visually LARGE messes and tone them down or eliminate them completely. For example, if your entryway table is piled high with mail, school papers, your son's sweatshirt, the cat's toy, a purchase you're waiting to return to the mall, and a handful of business cards you haven't entered into your electronic organizer yet, then focus on moving those items off that table and permanently keeping it clear. Spend just THREE MINUTES working on it today. Call your son out of his room and instruct him to take his sweatshirt to his closet. Take the business cards and move them onto your desk (or into the trash if you know in your heart you're not ever going to call or email those people). Shred just two pieces of junk mail. Take the cat's toy and put it where it belongs. Take the "to return" item and put it in your car, right now. That's not so hard. It doesn't take long after all.

If one, three minute session isn't enough, do another one tomorrow morning while you're waiting for the coffee to brew.

MANY TASKS SEEM OVERWHELMING IN OUR MINDS, WHEN IN FACT THEY ARE SMALL AND TAKE VERY LITTLE TIME TO FINISH.

Once that table is cleared off, put a pretty fall-themed centerpiece on it, such as a silk or real floral arrangement, a candle, a small decorative box or figure that you enjoy looking at. Now that eyesore is part of your decor.

What about a bigger mess, such as the family room being well trashed by your two elementary school kids and your sticky-palmed three year old? I have great advice for you, if you will take it. Are you ready?

GET RID OF 95 % OF WHAT'S IN THAT ROOM, INCLUDING EXCESS FURNITURE.

Look, I have three kids of my own, I used to own a day care center, and I have a college degree in education. I have learned what kids need: constructive play, lots of love, and LIMITS. You need to set limits on how much they are allowed to own as well as limits on how many toys they are allowed to spread out across the floor at one time. If you dont' teach them, who will?

An aquaintance of mine had a large gathering at his modest home, and went to great lengths to clean it up before the guests arrived. While the carpets were vacuumed and the pictures on the walls dusted, the family room was unbelieveable. He cleaned HALF of it. He pushed two sofas up against the sound system and desk, leaving an area in front of the tv vacant and vacuumed. Plastic toys for his three kids were jammed behind the sofas, and their huge DVD and video collections cluttered the rest of the space.

I felt totally smothered being in that room. The man was a SLAVE to his children's desires for more toys, and he obviously could not set limits on them or himself: that room could comfortably hold one loveseat, the tv, and maybe a desk. That's it.

Perhaps that's your problem too: not setting limits on yourself or others.

YOU are 100% responsible for the state of your home. You can clean it up NOW and have a lovely space to host your Thanksgiving meal.

You can call Goodwill or the ARC and donate that extra sofa (or two). You can limit the number of videos and DVD's your kids own (20 is more than enough!). You can throw out the shelves of placemats from the early 80's; you can let go of the boxes of computer manuals from two systems ago. You can set the Christmas popcorn tins out for recycling, you can donate the baby crib that has quietly sat gathering dust in the corner of your family room now that your youngest grandchild is six.

You can do this NOW, today! You can find three minutes to look up Goodwill's phone number in the directory and make the call to schedule a pick up. There is a life of beauty waiting for you, and YOU ARE THE ARTIST TO CREATE IT FOR YOURSELF.

Here's a photo of a fall centerpiece I created last year, to inspire you. Blessings!